Guilt Trip

Someone tried to lay one on me today and it almost worked. After getting to bed at 8:55 I woke in the night and lay awake for two hours. My brother-in-law (the one with the serious health problems) was on my mind and I prayed for him as well as other people who need healing. Even though there were quite a few, I kept coming back to him. He and my sister started courting when I was very young and he has been my brother for the last 55 years. I was flower girl in their wedding and the thought of his having to go through treatment weighs heavy. I hadn’t slept well as it was. My queasy stomach was because of post-nasal drip and my nose commenced to run as my belly felt better. I had to force myself to go to church. The bulb in the lamp on the organ had burned out and I could barely see to read the music. Opening song was “Once to Every Man and Nation” which is a challenge to play under good circumstances. I pretty much mangled it but got through. The closing song was easier and I was looking forward to it. THEN the one in charge changed that on the spur of the moment to one I’d never heard, let alone played, before. Well. That one was not only mangled, it was shredded. With my confidence in tatters, I stayed for the prayer session after the service and was going to head home with the intention of staying in the rest of my life, if necessary. I was stopped by one of the ladies who asked, “Are you coming to the shower tonight?” I’d sat at the organ mopping my nose periodically and you’d think she would have noticed.

Pleading for mercy, I said, “I didn’t remember it until this morning and I don’t feel well enough to come.” “Oh, PLEASE come! You know the bride and a lot of the people don’t.” (She and my daughter went to school together.) “Even if you don’t bring a gift, at least come!” I left with the promise that I would if at all possible. As it turns out, I would have had to line up chairs and lie down had I gone and I don’t think anyone would want me there with my snotty nose. So, the guilt trip didn’t work this time. I shouldn’t have gone to church. I didn’t go to the shower. One out of two is 50% right.

Feeling Rotten Day Raw Food

24 ozzies grapefruit juice
33 ozzies banana/blueberry/spinach/agave/ACV smoothie
Kim chee
3 Bubbies pickles (2 medium and 1 small)
2 tomatoes with Tajin
2 pickling cucumbers and some grape tomatoes (I had some of the latter yesterday, too)
Kelp noodles with my Cashew Cheese

The noodles were delicious with the cashew cheese except it was a little dry. I didn’t want to add more cheese so I mixed in some more water and made it just right.

Even though I haven’t mentioned it, I exercised the last two days—about 20 minutes each day. Not a lot but something.

I’m getting dangerously low on lemons. I’m getting ready to drink some garlic lemonade. Trying to get to feeling well enough to go out tonight, I steamed with tea tree oil in water but it didn’t do much good. Obviously. My date with All Creatures Great and Small is going to have to wait. I want to feel good when I watch it and enjoy it. Right now, I might have to watch with one eye closed.

I don’t know that I’m any sicker when I get sick since eating raw. One thing I don’t do is take stuff that relieves the symptoms because I know it doesn’t do any good, longterm, and it can prolong the agony if I don’t let the illness progress and the old bod’ heal itself. Mysteriously and wonderfully made is this mortal frame! My days of tanking up on “Jungle Juice” (a mix of phenergan and codeine) are over. It was good stuff. Knocked me out and quieted the cough so I could rest but the gunk that wasn’t coughed up could stay where it was and multiply until I’d have to take stronger measures. Not a smart thing to do.

One of the hospital employees was having an attack of itching under her arms. When I suggested using a natural reliever, she preferred Benadryl. Why is man-made better? She thought her deodorant might have turned against her. I didn’t dare advise her to use salt instead of commercial deo. She might have had me committed.

There are still a few people out there who can’t access the blog or the forum. The sad thing, they are some of the most faithful visitors. I’m sending my sister my blog posts via e-mail but I can’t send the forum posts to the others.

That’s about all I have in me tonight. I’ll have to let it go until tomorrow. Good night.

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